Before I say anything else, let’s be clear. This post is from the heart, not optimized for any SEO considerations at all.
Let’s start the game by getting a huge issue out of the way. Three of them to be precise.
1- I am a recovering ACOA, with all the emotional issues and baggage that come with that. So it’s taken me the first two decades of adult life to even start thinking about living more than paycheck to paycheck.
2- I have clinical depression. Have had for more than a couple of decades. See the note for #1, it’s taken a while to get this turned around.
3- At forty-two years old, between my wife and I, we make what is barely enough to live on, with two university degrees and months/years of advanced training under our belts, we have enough that the bills get paid most months… This makes me VERY upset.
BEWARE THE ANGRY BANANA GUN!
Let’s begin at the beginning
So, where to start? Begin at the beginning and go on in a forward-ish manner, until you come to the end; then stop. (somebody said something like that, can’t remember who)
Living with outdated frameworks and patterns
Ever tried to find a place without a map, or build a thing without the instructions? Or anything like that? Life, when you don’t have the right tools and frameworks, paradigms, mindsets, etc, is bloody damned hard to live correctly.
That’s what being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic situation is. I’m not whining; it is what it is, and learning how to get through life with a corrected game plan is the key to this. Always open-minded, always learning, never taking anything at the emotional or apparent face value. However, having corrected the maps, it’s increasingly clear that one true thing from the time of my childhood is not as true as it used to be.
Life isn’t about getting an education, a good job, then settling down securely for the rest of your time on planet Earth. If you’re trading hours for dollars, you may be ‘getting by’ but you’re never going to be getting ahead.
How MUCH do you live on?
There are only so many hours in a day/month/year. Your most precious commodity is not money, but rather your time.
Your liquid income is or can be fluid, flexible. Your time is finite. Don’t waste it. Personally, I don’t have much surplus because I’m working like mad in the moments that I can spare from being a dad and father.
For clarity, without taking into account leap years and other anomalies, you get a grand total of 365 days each year. That’s a grand total (average) of eight working hours per day, five days per week. So 52 x 5 x 8 = 2080 hours per year to work, on average. Some, like me, work more than that, or less depending on your definition of work. But at that point, if you’re lucky enough to manage full time, at current British Columbia minimum wage of $13.65, you as an individual would make $28,392 Gross Take Home Pay. That’s barely twice the tax exempt rate of about $11,000 on personal Canadian Taxes. This is not a good amount to live on.
Instead, say you billed out at $100 per hour, and worked that full time job; you’ve lost a full year’s worth of days with your kids, and you’ve only brought home $208,000 (which in Canada puts you in the top tax bracket, paying about 45% taxes, (NOT A DEFINITE VALUE, this is all hypothetical). So you have $100,000 to live on… not bad, but not great. How much do you have to bill out to afford a house here in BC, or a reasonably new vehicle, healthcare (above BC Medical basics), you’re looking at trying to bill out yourself at $200 plus per hour, without expenses and overhead, to even live comfortably in this land of ours (your land may differ, but life in Canada is expensive as hell). So, time to remap the game book. More on that later.
In Conclusion
Or, in other words, what the hell am I trying to say?
1- My first main point is that we need to outline and plan a new approach to life, with a great deal more introspection and self-work. Y’all get to come along on that ride.
2- There has to be a better way to survive than to trade hours for dollars in this life. I’m going to die broke and alone (well, not alone, I have an amazing wife and five amazing kids) unless I can find the path out of this vortex that’s sucking away years of my life, and my wife’s life, and the lives of everybody I know.
3- It can’t be true that for me to get ahead, others need to lose out. There has to be a positive outcome to this whole mess. Bear with me, I’m kinda not dumb and I intend to find the silver lining in this whole tangle, it’s all about focus and vision I think.
Yeah, have an awesome day and DFTBA.
Cheers. Duke.